Still The Sex Orchestra When Hating Valentine's Day

Not everyone loves Valentine's Day. The person who is most likely a malcontent about it is a single person. Primarily, because many let Valentine's Day reinforce the idea that one is not complete unless they are in a couple. And that is not necessarily the case. In fact, I personally feel it's better to feel complete before entering a relationship, and let Fate bring you a significant other who adds to your sense of completion, and you theirs. However, since single people must endure this holiday. So what can we do to get us through the violins in our heads, and sex we'll be hearing throughout the night from couples celebrating Valentine's Day? 

 

I might have some suggestions... 

 

Have a masturbation & pornfest. 

If you live in a big city, many couples around you are going to be going at it. To the point that you're probably going to hear a big enough chorus of couples' sex sounds that their combined sounds can penetrate even the thickest of walls. So make your own noise. Make a porn playlist, get your needed toys, lubricant, and cleaning supplies together, and have a release of the tension. Because although it's not talked about much, when we know the couple is good-looking, the sound of sex makes many of us horny. 

 

Go to, or host a sex party. 

If you don't want to be alone, since single people often hang out with other single people, especially on Valentine's Day, if you know of a good sex party happening that night, go there. Better yet, you might easily have enough people to make a list so you can invite a friend with benefits, and some of their single friends, and host a sex party of your own.   

 

Call a single friend with benefits. 

Whoever's place you hook up at, you don't have to be trapped into hearing the symphony of sex with the neighbors being, shall we say, "orchestra members". Let you and your friend with benefits create your own orchestra, creating a symphony consisting of your own heavy breathing, dirty talk, moans, sweaty body slaps, and whatever else you bring to your "concert". 

 

Some couples hate Valentine's Day, too. 

The reason they hate Valentine's Day is because the holiday to many enforces monogamy, and those in an open relationship of some kind might not take to kindly to that. Plus, being that it is a holiday, it tells you to praise your significant other based on someone else's calendar, and not your own. With those things in mind, some unconventional couple's might make a Valentine's Day gift be to give their partner a playmate beside themselves. Such an invitation can be for a 3-way, or to only be watched by the gift-giving partner.  

 

NOTE: Whatever scenario with a couple, I would suggest to not go through with it unless you have a sexual attraction to both members of the couple. For you might get invited to have sex with only the one you're attracted to, but what if the other decides to they want in? You're not the primary. So you would come off rude to say "no". 

 

 

With these suggestions I hope if you normally hate Valentine's Day that my suggestions will now have you looking forward to it. For Valentine's Day is about love, and these suggestions can make it a day about loving yourself, and "connect" with those who you may not be in love with, but do see eye to eye with.

What Brought Me To Self-Photography

Over the years, I have gotten a great many compliments on my photos. Photos that in case you didn't know, were photographed by me.

But what brought me to self-photography? Like many presently good things for myself, it's a matter of making a negative into a positive. In this case, the negative is the racism displayed by various facets of the gay "art" community.

My first photos to get me in the industry were taken back in the early 2000s with a flip-phone. And if you recall back then, photos from your cellphone had a blue hue to them. Those pics are partly how I got my very first porn gig of doing a live solo show for a website called ShowGuys.com.

Afterwards, I invested in a real camera and took the photos that started one of my too many wasted trips to Lucas Entertainment. I also sent those pics to other studios along with pics from a photoshoot I won in a porn contest. Back then, predominately white porn studios had no interest in casting a Black man as a bottom. Even a racist scumbag named Troy at Falcon Studios back then gave me the excuse of "calling me when it was the right fit".

With my look then compared to that studio's other models, that excuse could only mean one thing. 😒And the compliance with it by the other performers, then and now is why I'm weary of getting too involved with studio-based gay porn actors .

Sadly, I suspect that the porn director I worked with most, Tyson Cane photoshopped his photos purposely to make sure the models on his roster had limited opportunities outside of him. For the type of photoshop he did, which was overdone, could still get a porn studio to hire you...if you were white or light-skinned Latino, but not if you were medium to dark-complexioned person of color.

Although Tyson Cane often tried to assimilate whiteness with his productions, he would have been a complete fool to be unaware of the porn industry's racist double standard. One that allows a white or light-skinned model to have such overdone photos and still get work. Meanwhile, if the porn actor is Black, that porn actor is easily disregarded and discarded.

And that is what I think happened to me. For Tyson Cane's pics were most definitely overly photoshopped, and my involvement with former pornstar Will Clark's charity events and the big name pornstars that put me in interactions with put me in a position unlike most of the other models on Tyson Cane's roster. It gave me a possible in to big name porn companies.

Make no mistake, Tyson Cane is an idiot, but he also exhibits the typical traits of a porn director. Especially one of the most prominently negative... rabid insecurity. Rabid by way of them not seeing how it is all too often their own actions that cause people to leave them.

In any case, I got tired of photos in which I did not look like myself. The straw that broke the camel's back was how Will Clark invited me to be one of the porn performers on his Bad Boys On The Hudson Sea Tea. We were asked to bring photos to sign for fans at a Meet-and-Greet at the end of the cruise. Listening to the ignorance of Tyson Cane, I got either 4 x 6, or 5 x 7 photos. Because Tyson Cane said, his "main thing to consider is cost". Meanwhile, all of the other pornstars had what is customary, 8 x 10s. Following Cane's idiotic advice made it quite difficult for patrons to carry my photo. Because they were trying to hold onto about 6 photos...when all but 1 is not an 8x10. So people kept dropping it. But I made up for it when I got invited to do Bad Boys On The Hudson the following year.

The next year, I moved into a new place. Taking my own photos. For Bad Boys On The Hudson Sea Tea, not only did I come back with 8x10s like I should have the first time. But I also gave patrons a choice between 2 photos. Some patrons were so sweet that I let them have one of each.

Besides that, one of my greatest accomplishments from that return to self-photography is how all of the photos featured for my part in the pornstar interview book "Ultimate Starz" by Owen Keehnen were not taken by porn studios like practically all of the other models. They were instead taken by the pornstar himself, ME.

Once I started submitting those photos, people started expressing interest. Even with that new interest however, porn companies maintained their racist double standard. Such as how Chi Chi LaRue and Doug Jeffries' people wanted me for a movie. BUT only considered me if I was planning to come out to California on my own. Meanwhile, I know for a fact of how they (the studio) have flown out white and light-skinned Latino performers.

In spite of instances such as that, once I officially retired from studio-based porn, other opportunities arose. Such as the times I modeled for the Leslie-Lohman Drawing Studio, my appearance in Next Door Magazine were all gigs brought forth by my self-photography. At one point, I was in talks to possibly model for The LGBT Community Center's Drawing Group. But by the time I checked back in to continue those talks, which was not long after, the person choosing models had changed. And since I followed the schedule via Instagram, I saw that had come to not have the same diversity including Black models like when I was in talks to possibly model for them. 

This racism in art (of all places) is synonymous with many photographers who claimed to have interest in photographing me. However, never doing their part in keeping the communication going when I replied to their interests. And I'm sure if some of them read this, they will refuse to correct or apologize for their falling off. Simply out of their own unjustified ego and avoidance of accountability. Even when their New York-based portfolio proves quite lacking in both number and/or variety in types of medium to dark-complexioned male models. Quite shameful when they reside in such a multi-colored and multi-ethnic mecca that is New York City.

An overwhelming majority of photographers still use that criteria of gym-rat physique and bald head when casting medium to dark-complexioned models, but allow white to caramel brown models have more variety in build. Sometimes that variety in build has so much less definition that these photographers border on endorsing pedophilia with their photography.

In any case, now you know what led me to my self-photography. Various photographers claiming interest proved themselves to be racist and unreliable. At least for my Black skin and build.

For this reason, I must use this article to give a shoutout to Manon Productions, LLC & Male Form Photos - 2 photographers who expressed interest in photographing my brown skin, and kept the communication happening for it to come to fruition.

So other than to 2 of them, if I want to show a medium to dark-complexioned Black man; one with a fit, but not gym-rat physique; and still have his hair, thereby making his African descent visible to racist white males wanting to erase it, then these photographers claiming interest made an age-old saying a must for me to live by...

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE RIGHT, YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF.

Pleasure Product Review: Svakom Hannes Neo

The kind folks at Svakom came to the sex shop I work at for a tutorial and as a gift allowed members of the staff to pick an item. Of their products marketed for people with a penis and a prostate, I already have toys that I am quite happy with. However, there was one product that did pique my curiosity.

It was the Hannes Neo.

Why did it pique my curiosity so? It was the throbbing motion. I first imagined how it feels when my penis is inside an anus or a vagina, the clenching that comes with the person nearing or having an orgasm. Then I imagined feeling that clenching on some variation of a repeat. That last part is what sold me.

Once I got it, I charged it at work so once I got it home, I would not have to delay in playing with it.

So did it do as I had hoped? In that regards, it did give the pleasure of a partner repeatedly throbbing from an orgasm. And the varying patterns (indicated by the button changing colors) made it feel like those throbs were not steady. However, that was only on the initial intensity setting. Once you intensify it, it goes back to its original pattern when you first turned on the device. This happens whether you do it manually or by using the Svakom app. Not having those other patterns able to grow in intensity is about the only drawback I felt with the Hannes Neo.

Another feature of the Hannes Neo is its ability to be used with the FeelConnect app. I used the app to sync it with porn. The Hannes Neo was not necessarily throbbing in sync with any videos, but the stroking did. For that, I very much enjoyed using it with FeelConnect.   

Many believe that the Hannes Neo is hands-free. Perhaps it is for some, but not for me. It is because the thrust of the Hannes Neo makes me have to go deeper into it so I can experience all of the textures of the sleeve. For this reason, my saying that the Hannes Neo is not hands-free for me is not at all a complaint. Because personally, grinding into my electronic strokers further intensifies my getting off.

I have often said that I have moments where my thought process is very much in sync with what is said to be a male way of thinking while in other ways I am in common with a way of thinking thought to be common with that of a female. In the case of playing with the Hannes Neo, I went to being the typical male. Because I did not so much as open the instruction manual. Don't get me wrong. The instructions for the Hannes Neo are not at all difficult to figure out without reading the manual. However, it is a smarter move to read them on any product so you know from the jump that you are not mishandling your sex toy in any way. For your own safety and to make a proper claim within your sex toy's warranty.

With that said, know that the sleeve of the Hannes Neo is made of TPE. And it works best with a water-based lube. If you want some lube recommendations, considering how long ago the article was written, a good start would be my lube recommendations that I wrote in an article for Thotyssey.

As for cleaning, while you can easily use any body-safe soap, for porous materials, I recommend an actual anti-bacterial toy cleaner for that added protection. 

Also, the Hannes Neo is not waterproof. Therefore, after cleaning the sleeve, make sure the sleeve is completely dry inside and especially outside before placing it back into the Hannes Neo's receptacle. Otherwise, the moisture could cause the product to short circuit. An error that will void your product's warranty.

So to summarize, I very much liked the Hannes Neo. If you want a motorized masturbation sleeve with an extra feature, such as throbbing and interactive capabilities,  then I definitely recommend the Hannes Neo. 

VERS In Action, But VERS BOTTOM At Heart

 

About 6 years ago, I wrote an article titled "I'm Versatile, But I Prefer To...". In that article I admitted that in my versatility that I prefer to bottom. My preference for bottoming has not changed, and that's fine. Or is it?

I think it is healthy to question oneself about their sexual preferences and kinks. Asking themselves  what sparked them. Especially if a role (like bottoming or topping) that you are able-bodied to do seems to be out of your reach because of a mental block. 

Such as how since that aforementioned article, I have become more confident in my topping and bottoming equally. However, even though I have topped many guys at sex parties and backrooms, my main means of luxuriating in sex is still by bottoming. So how and why do I top them?

The "how" is because as I have said often, sex is always a spiritual connection. Add that to how my confidence in bottoming and topping is growing in equality, and you have the "why". The "why" being that my versatility becomes a means to sexually join with their bodies in spite of my preferred role of bottom. And my desire to join with their bodies outdoes my desire to appease my preferred role.

This is not to say that I have no desire to top. After all, the terminology is "versatile bottom". So there are a number of guys that my initial thought is to top them. Sometimes this happens when the guy is actually a total top himself. However, I'm not going to try to persuade someone to play a role outside of their sensible proclaimed preference. So just like my poem "Top Me, Bottom" advises people to use fantasies and masturbation as the means to have a bottom become a top, I use that same means to have a top become a bottom.

There is a reason I said "sensible proclaimed preference". Primarily, it is because the preference of many non-blacks who claim to be some degree versatile. Many of them only want a Black male as their top. That is not a sensible proclaimed preference. For it is based on a limiting sexual expectation by racist white voices dominating the gay community. Using covert messaging (in mediums like porn) to say that a Black male is automatically supposed to top in an interracial encounter. I feel this has led to too high a number of my experiences as a top. For this reason, I feel I'm more open to being versatile in action and at heart in my private play. In my public play however, I remain a versatile bottom at heart. It is to give a well-deserved "Fuck you" to all the racist versatile white males and assimilating versatile males of color who think a Black male's sole sexual purpose in an interracial encounter is to use our dick as a tool of aggression. To sexualize avenging the slavery of our forefathers because of their white guilt.

Since I am so observant beforehand, I have dodged many a bullet on hooking up with such guys. However, not most, but too high a number of non-blacks that I've topped have gotten pass my observing eye. So I don't learn I'm dealing with such a guy until after the sex. Once I learn that I was dealing with that brand of a weak-minded creature, it not only puts a blemish on the memory of the joy from the encounter. The blemish on that memory quickly grows into a hole growing larger and larger as if it has been eaten by the most corrosive of acids. This thereby makes their proclaimed role of bottom with me not a sensible one since it was taught to them instead of it being their personal nature.

In spite of these negatives I am faced with, I stand firm in my self-identification. So in spite of the bottom-shaming in the gay community, both regardless of one's color/ethnicity as well as based on one's color/ethnicity, this is another facet of who I am sexually. I can top. I can bottom. But at the end of the day, the majority of my sexual desire has me wanting a sexy man's cock balls deep in my ass. Be that cock short, long, thick, or thin. The important part is us wanting each other for emotionally and mentally healthy reasons.

And yes, even a backroom tryst can share in being motivated by emotionally and mentally healthy reasons. I hope you realized me pointing out how that is possible. 😊

52nd Birthday Lustful Wishlist

On March 31, 2023, I will turn 52 years old. Although since many gay males suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome, they believe that, especially in dark spaces, I should lie about my age and pass myself off as the reverse of my upcoming age, which would be 25.

Well that's not how I roll. For to my most loyal readers, this will sound redundant, but it bears repeating.

I celebrate getting older for 2 reasons. 

1.  I have said almost every year how because of sexual repression be it by religious, ethnic, and/or family culture, a sad number of LGBTQ+ people don't get to become 18. And if they become 18, many in 2023 are still either living double lives, or playing straight while repressing their LGBTQ+ nature. So I proudly celebrate turning 52 because I have overcome the need or desire for such repression. I have matured to being unapologetic about my love and lust for the male form, and occasional lust for the female form. To the point that;
2. my refusal to partake of the stereotypical substance abuse many LGBTQ+ males do further proves my want and need for a clear head when indulging in that love and lust. And I feel I have been rewarded for that stance by not aging like those who do partake of that stereotypical behavior. And that is a message I want to pass on to my social media following. However large or small it may be. For you have no right to complain about aging poorly when you are treating your body poorly.
   

Now, contrary to ageist propaganda, my getting older has not slowed down my sex drive, my sexual fantasies, or my sexual To Do list. In fact, because of the aforementioned reason to celebrate getting older, it has made me more detailed in what I want and responsible about obtaining it.

With that said, below are 4 options of the birthday sex I want for my 52nd birthday. Some may have to just be fantasies. But however they turn out, they are:

52 LOAD/MAN GANGBANG

Every year, since my 50th birthday, this has been a fantasy of mine. However, with each year, I think the load number equating my age is more plausible than the number of males. Why? Because I'm picky. I could probably get the 52 if I was a "No Loads Refused" cumdump, but that is not me. I would never be ass up, blindfolded and/or turned away from seeing my tops' faces. Because yes, I'm always horny, but I am not giving my body to someone who looks like Jabba the Hutt. Plus, I want to be in as many positions as possible that will let me grope those tops' asses while they dick me down.

Of course, with the aforementioned awareness of responsibility as I get older, that would require someone I trust manning the room to make sure no one does anything they should not be doing. To me or the other tops.

"BLIND FUCK MIND FUCK 5" REALIZED

About 8 years ago, at an erotic open mic, I debuted a poem titled "Blind Fuck Mind Fuck 5". The premise was me being blindfolded while getting gangbanged by 5 guys that I have seen the face of, but never seen in any degree naked. Not even shirtless. And whoever is the best gets a complete 1-on-1 with me. 

I would not mind making that a reality. Of course, again, with the aforementioned awareness of responsibility, someone I trust needs to man the room.

A BIRTHDAY 3-WAY

This is about as unlikely as the 52 load/man gangbang. Because I don't personally know many couples here in NYC. And from my observation, most open couples here in NYC have their 3rd often be white/light-skin. The way I usually get a member of an open couple is by them using their side-piece opportunity that is often reserved for Black males, or any other color/ethnicity their partner sees as unattractive.

Do know that this is not ruling out a Black couple at all. A more interracial get-together is my 1st choice because both in public and in private, I like my sex to display the unity and appreciation for the different colors of the skin rainbow that we should praise in our day to day interactions.

In any case, as a positive thinker, I say "never say never". So a couple could come forth and offer that 3-way as a reality. If so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

OLD-FASHIONED 1-ON-1

I did this to celebrate my 50th, and loved it. And I have no problem doing it again. As I was staying in a hotel in Midtown Manhattan, on Grindr of all things, I came across a playmate I had not seen in quite awhile. He was en route to going home to Harlem at the time. Well, he decided to go home to Harlem so he could shower, then came back out to my hotel room, and he filled my chocolate birthday cakes with his cream.

Like I said, I would not mind doing something this simple again. Or going to the guy's place.

You might notice that in all of these scenarios that while I claim to be vers, these scenarios all have me as a bottom. That is because as I have also said that while my versatility is more so to accommodate my sex partner's desired position, I actually prefer bottoming. To me, a cock in my ass is a chance to use sex as a means to luxuriate. Even if the top is pounding my hole into oblivion. So yes, since one likes to luxuriate for their birthday, I want to be an insatiable power bottoming slut for my birthday.

So what of it?! 😉