52nd Birthday Lustful Wishlist

On March 31, 2023, I will turn 52 years old. Although since many gay males suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome, they believe that, especially in dark spaces, I should lie about my age and pass myself off as the reverse of my upcoming age, which would be 25.

Well that's not how I roll. For to my most loyal readers, this will sound redundant, but it bears repeating.

I celebrate getting older for 2 reasons. 

1.  I have said almost every year how because of sexual repression be it by religious, ethnic, and/or family culture, a sad number of LGBTQ+ people don't get to become 18. And if they become 18, many in 2023 are still either living double lives, or playing straight while repressing their LGBTQ+ nature. So I proudly celebrate turning 52 because I have overcome the need or desire for such repression. I have matured to being unapologetic about my love and lust for the male form, and occasional lust for the female form. To the point that;
2. my refusal to partake of the stereotypical substance abuse many LGBTQ+ males do further proves my want and need for a clear head when indulging in that love and lust. And I feel I have been rewarded for that stance by not aging like those who do partake of that stereotypical behavior. And that is a message I want to pass on to my social media following. However large or small it may be. For you have no right to complain about aging poorly when you are treating your body poorly.
   

Now, contrary to ageist propaganda, my getting older has not slowed down my sex drive, my sexual fantasies, or my sexual To Do list. In fact, because of the aforementioned reason to celebrate getting older, it has made me more detailed in what I want and responsible about obtaining it.

With that said, below are 4 options of the birthday sex I want for my 52nd birthday. Some may have to just be fantasies. But however they turn out, they are:

52 LOAD/MAN GANGBANG

Every year, since my 50th birthday, this has been a fantasy of mine. However, with each year, I think the load number equating my age is more plausible than the number of males. Why? Because I'm picky. I could probably get the 52 if I was a "No Loads Refused" cumdump, but that is not me. I would never be ass up, blindfolded and/or turned away from seeing my tops' faces. Because yes, I'm always horny, but I am not giving my body to someone who looks like Jabba the Hutt. Plus, I want to be in as many positions as possible that will let me grope those tops' asses while they dick me down.

Of course, with the aforementioned awareness of responsibility as I get older, that would require someone I trust manning the room to make sure no one does anything they should not be doing. To me or the other tops.

"BLIND FUCK MIND FUCK 5" REALIZED

About 8 years ago, at an erotic open mic, I debuted a poem titled "Blind Fuck Mind Fuck 5". The premise was me being blindfolded while getting gangbanged by 5 guys that I have seen the face of, but never seen in any degree naked. Not even shirtless. And whoever is the best gets a complete 1-on-1 with me. 

I would not mind making that a reality. Of course, again, with the aforementioned awareness of responsibility, someone I trust needs to man the room.

A BIRTHDAY 3-WAY

This is about as unlikely as the 52 load/man gangbang. Because I don't personally know many couples here in NYC. And from my observation, most open couples here in NYC have their 3rd often be white/light-skin. The way I usually get a member of an open couple is by them using their side-piece opportunity that is often reserved for Black males, or any other color/ethnicity their partner sees as unattractive.

Do know that this is not ruling out a Black couple at all. A more interracial get-together is my 1st choice because both in public and in private, I like my sex to display the unity and appreciation for the different colors of the skin rainbow that we should praise in our day to day interactions.

In any case, as a positive thinker, I say "never say never". So a couple could come forth and offer that 3-way as a reality. If so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

OLD-FASHIONED 1-ON-1

I did this to celebrate my 50th, and loved it. And I have no problem doing it again. As I was staying in a hotel in Midtown Manhattan, on Grindr of all things, I came across a playmate I had not seen in quite awhile. He was en route to going home to Harlem at the time. Well, he decided to go home to Harlem so he could shower, then came back out to my hotel room, and he filled my chocolate birthday cakes with his cream.

Like I said, I would not mind doing something this simple again. Or going to the guy's place.

You might notice that in all of these scenarios that while I claim to be vers, these scenarios all have me as a bottom. That is because as I have also said that while my versatility is more so to accommodate my sex partner's desired position, I actually prefer bottoming. To me, a cock in my ass is a chance to use sex as a means to luxuriate. Even if the top is pounding my hole into oblivion. So yes, since one likes to luxuriate for their birthday, I want to be an insatiable power bottoming slut for my birthday.

So what of it?! 😉

Sex Party Etiquette: Older Guys, Heavyset Guys, & Blacks Are NOT The Help

I went to the SCUM party, Gush one Monday night. There after topping this tall, older well-built White male, I did my recommended post-sex wash-off, then stood on the side. While standing there, a guy who appeared to be light-skinned Latino, with black hair, moderately hairy, with a tan baseball cap and glasses looked over to me like he was about to say something. However, the next thing out of his mouth pissed me off.

He said, "You were fucking that guy earlier."

I said, "Yes."

He said, "Is he only a top?"

I said, "I don't know."

He then asks, "Is he still here?"

I replied, "I don't know." After a brief paused, I said, "Why are you asking me?"

In his attitude of white/light entitlement, he shrugged it off by saying, "Well, you were fucking him. So I thought I'd ask."

As many have told me that my eyes tell everything I'm thinking, I've come to use it as a weapon to get ignorant people out of my sight. So after that statement, I gave him one sharp glance and turned my head. Making the now awkward silence make him go elsewhere.

My thought was that it is a sex party. If you want to know where someone is, if you see someone you like who has walked pass you, you just get up off your ass and go look for them. Don't ask others about them. Especially not the person that just had sex with them, yet you have no intention of fucking the person you questioned. 

Post-sex conversations about someone's playmate are to be compliments of one's performance with that playmate. Not a questionnaire about the playmate's position and whereabout stats to dismiss in their minds your time with that person. Such a questionnaire is a power-play meant to diminish (and erase) my encounter from his mind. By treating me like the help. A walking information desk. Instead of a fellow hunter and actual sexual equal. Especially since he saw the person he wanted have an encounter with a Black man.

Unfortunately, many young white and light-skinned people of color gaining acceptance via colorism behave this way. Neglecting how at a sex party, unless you know the person outside the sex party, you practically never strike up a conversation unless you're looking to have sex with that person. Young white and light-skinned guys in their attitude of entitlement seem to follow this rule only when they talk to their own. For anyone outside of their age, body type, and/or skin color mirror image, it is a coin-toss as to whether or not sex with you is their goal. If there is no sex on their To-Do list with you, then it is probably just chit-chat for the sake of seeming friendly. Compensating for the pretentiousness that makes them sexually see you as less than.

It is not only striking up conversations to get information is not the only method one is treated as the help. These same guys will also use non-whites, heavyset guys, and older guys as fluffers. Because in their attitude of entitlement, you are not good enough to fuck. You are only good enough to service those perceived as "sex gods". Because of this attitude, I have come to hate the word "service" in porn titles and descriptions to mean oral sex. Even though I have admitted to moments at which I like being submissive.

Some years ago, seeing a bunch of white and light-skinned Latinos do this to an Asian one time too many at a NY Jock Party is why I stopped going there. And when I meet someone who has attended NYJP in the years since, they report to me as to nothing has changed. Of course, such reports only come from non-white attendees as white attendees are too self-involved about getting theirs to notice when someone else is being slighted.

For these reasons, I saw this guy asking about the one I had sex with as being motivated by jealousy. Jealousy that I had sex with someone he found attractive, but felt because of my being Black that I wasn't good enough. So this questioning was his cowardly, petty, and racist way to say, "Yeah, I want him. Not you."

Sadly, this questioner would have probably done the same thing if a heavyset and/or older person had sex with the guy I was with. Why? Because acts of ageism, racism, colorism, and body-shaming in environments like this are born out of insecurity. So because they are taught that Black males, heavyset guys, and older guys do not have sex appeal, to see such people acquire someone they want brings them to a reality that reminds them that they are not sex gods. That the world (or the gay community) does not revolve around them or bend to their every will. And that makes them scared...as they should be.

For behavior such as this guy's makes it only a short matter of time before his attempt to be a discarder will result in him actually becoming the discarded. With the only possible way to keep the illusion that he is not discarded alive is by buying off young guys with the promise of booze and drugs.

So this post is to warn many to do better. Because I keep saying it, and the rule has not changed...Karma is a bitch.