Still The Sex Orchestra When Hating Valentine's Day

Not everyone loves Valentine's Day. The person who is most likely a malcontent about it is a single person. Primarily, because many let Valentine's Day reinforce the idea that one is not complete unless they are in a couple. And that is not necessarily the case. In fact, I personally feel it's better to feel complete before entering a relationship, and let Fate bring you a significant other who adds to your sense of completion, and you theirs. However, since single people must endure this holiday. So what can we do to get us through the violins in our heads, and sex we'll be hearing throughout the night from couples celebrating Valentine's Day? 

 

I might have some suggestions... 

 

Have a masturbation & pornfest. 

If you live in a big city, many couples around you are going to be going at it. To the point that you're probably going to hear a big enough chorus of couples' sex sounds that their combined sounds can penetrate even the thickest of walls. So make your own noise. Make a porn playlist, get your needed toys, lubricant, and cleaning supplies together, and have a release of the tension. Because although it's not talked about much, when we know the couple is good-looking, the sound of sex makes many of us horny. 

 

Go to, or host a sex party. 

If you don't want to be alone, since single people often hang out with other single people, especially on Valentine's Day, if you know of a good sex party happening that night, go there. Better yet, you might easily have enough people to make a list so you can invite a friend with benefits, and some of their single friends, and host a sex party of your own.   

 

Call a single friend with benefits. 

Whoever's place you hook up at, you don't have to be trapped into hearing the symphony of sex with the neighbors being, shall we say, "orchestra members". Let you and your friend with benefits create your own orchestra, creating a symphony consisting of your own heavy breathing, dirty talk, moans, sweaty body slaps, and whatever else you bring to your "concert". 

 

Some couples hate Valentine's Day, too. 

The reason they hate Valentine's Day is because the holiday to many enforces monogamy, and those in an open relationship of some kind might not take to kindly to that. Plus, being that it is a holiday, it tells you to praise your significant other based on someone else's calendar, and not your own. With those things in mind, some unconventional couple's might make a Valentine's Day gift be to give their partner a playmate beside themselves. Such an invitation can be for a 3-way, or to only be watched by the gift-giving partner.  

 

NOTE: Whatever scenario with a couple, I would suggest to not go through with it unless you have a sexual attraction to both members of the couple. For you might get invited to have sex with only the one you're attracted to, but what if the other decides to they want in? You're not the primary. So you would come off rude to say "no". 

 

 

With these suggestions I hope if you normally hate Valentine's Day that my suggestions will now have you looking forward to it. For Valentine's Day is about love, and these suggestions can make it a day about loving yourself, and "connect" with those who you may not be in love with, but do see eye to eye with.

VERS In Action, But VERS BOTTOM At Heart

 

About 6 years ago, I wrote an article titled "I'm Versatile, But I Prefer To...". In that article I admitted that in my versatility that I prefer to bottom. My preference for bottoming has not changed, and that's fine. Or is it?

I think it is healthy to question oneself about their sexual preferences and kinks. Asking themselves  what sparked them. Especially if a role (like bottoming or topping) that you are able-bodied to do seems to be out of your reach because of a mental block. 

Such as how since that aforementioned article, I have become more confident in my topping and bottoming equally. However, even though I have topped many guys at sex parties and backrooms, my main means of luxuriating in sex is still by bottoming. So how and why do I top them?

The "how" is because as I have said often, sex is always a spiritual connection. Add that to how my confidence in bottoming and topping is growing in equality, and you have the "why". The "why" being that my versatility becomes a means to sexually join with their bodies in spite of my preferred role of bottom. And my desire to join with their bodies outdoes my desire to appease my preferred role.

This is not to say that I have no desire to top. After all, the terminology is "versatile bottom". So there are a number of guys that my initial thought is to top them. Sometimes this happens when the guy is actually a total top himself. However, I'm not going to try to persuade someone to play a role outside of their sensible proclaimed preference. So just like my poem "Top Me, Bottom" advises people to use fantasies and masturbation as the means to have a bottom become a top, I use that same means to have a top become a bottom.

There is a reason I said "sensible proclaimed preference". Primarily, it is because the preference of many non-blacks who claim to be some degree versatile. Many of them only want a Black male as their top. That is not a sensible proclaimed preference. For it is based on a limiting sexual expectation by racist white voices dominating the gay community. Using covert messaging (in mediums like porn) to say that a Black male is automatically supposed to top in an interracial encounter. I feel this has led to too high a number of my experiences as a top. For this reason, I feel I'm more open to being versatile in action and at heart in my private play. In my public play however, I remain a versatile bottom at heart. It is to give a well-deserved "Fuck you" to all the racist versatile white males and assimilating versatile males of color who think a Black male's sole sexual purpose in an interracial encounter is to use our dick as a tool of aggression. To sexualize avenging the slavery of our forefathers because of their white guilt.

Since I am so observant beforehand, I have dodged many a bullet on hooking up with such guys. However, not most, but too high a number of non-blacks that I've topped have gotten pass my observing eye. So I don't learn I'm dealing with such a guy until after the sex. Once I learn that I was dealing with that brand of a weak-minded creature, it not only puts a blemish on the memory of the joy from the encounter. The blemish on that memory quickly grows into a hole growing larger and larger as if it has been eaten by the most corrosive of acids. This thereby makes their proclaimed role of bottom with me not a sensible one since it was taught to them instead of it being their personal nature.

In spite of these negatives I am faced with, I stand firm in my self-identification. So in spite of the bottom-shaming in the gay community, both regardless of one's color/ethnicity as well as based on one's color/ethnicity, this is another facet of who I am sexually. I can top. I can bottom. But at the end of the day, the majority of my sexual desire has me wanting a sexy man's cock balls deep in my ass. Be that cock short, long, thick, or thin. The important part is us wanting each other for emotionally and mentally healthy reasons.

And yes, even a backroom tryst can share in being motivated by emotionally and mentally healthy reasons. I hope you realized me pointing out how that is possible. 😊

My Poppers Experiment...A Turnaround?

Imagine coming into work one day and finding a bottle of poppers in your locker.  Some reading this are thinking, "Whoo hoo!"

Now, imagine being me. Someone who everyone in your workplace knows is very much against poppers. So if you were me, you would be pretty pissed, wouldn't you?

Well, that was me the day I came to work and found a bottle of Super Rush sitting in my locker at the sex shop I work at. I didn't throw a fit. I felt I would get a logical explanation soon enough, and I did. A co-worker later told me that a vendor sent some samples or different brands and that was the one he put in my locker. The co-worker even offered to take it off my hands if I wanted them to. I decided to keep it simply for photographic purposes if/when I write another article against poppers. Instead, as a couple of days went by, another idea of what to do with that bottle of poppers came to mind.

With hindsight being 20/20, while the knowledge of poppers being a harmful chemical still prevail as a huge deterrent from me partaking of them, I have come to realize that part of my disdain is also how poppers were introduced to me. They were shoved in my face during a tryst by a top unwilling to take his time with my hole that is tight as one's hole should be.

I'm sure that was the case for most who bottom. A lazy, self-serving, sexually uneducated top shoved poppers in their face to shut them up of the bottom's justified complaint of pain from rushed anal entry. Hence my disappointment with bottoms who use poppers for sex. For after that top usurped that bottom's body, the bottom never stopped to realize how poppers were imposed upon them. Therefore, further use is them refusing to let that realization inspire them to undo their dependency on poppers.

I italicized dependency for a reason. For what else would you call it when a bottom misplaces their poppers at a sex party or backroom, and they scramble like a crazy person looking for them. Almost in the same way a heroin addict psychotically scrambles for their misplaced drugs. Almost every gay male reading this has seen it. Maybe even during a tryst in their own home. It is not a sexy sight at all. I have become less invested in many playmates that used poppers because of such actions.

 

In my experimentation with various substances like cocaine, ecstasy, crystal meth, and even marijuana (when it was illegal here in New York), my goal has always been to find an answer to...WHAT'S THE DRAW? Then if I find that answer, my next question becomes: WHAT'S THE PAYOFF?

Especially, the long-term payoff.

With all of those previous experiments, I definitely found the draw. It is the long-term payoff that has led me to not partake of those substances on a more regular basis. For most of the substances I mentioned lead to a limp dick and/or your sex partner(s) not being the primary and/or sole source of your excitement, pleasure, and orgasm. So what did my experiment with poppers prove?

The exact same result.

For I will admit that with my experiment with poppers, I definitely got a chance to experience the draw through masturbation sessions. The high did feel great. My heart racing did scare me for a bit, but not panicking and taking deep breaths helped that to subside. I did still enjoy the high. That I will not deny.

So trust me, being able to have this experience did let me get a chance to learn the draw to poppers on my own time, and on my own turf. Without the coercion of a stereotypical, selfish, no-brained, no patience-having douche of a top.

With the exception of one time, I conducted these experiments with poppers alone. That only experiment while with a playmate was not with the bottle given to me. I was topping in a bar backroom and a voyeur I became friendly with earlier offered me theirs. Considering I was doing these experiments with poppers at home, I accepted. And it immediately bothered me emotionally.

Because compared to the pleasure I felt using the poppers in solo play, the use while with a playmate made me take time away from my playmate. That made me feel like a lousy lover. So obtaining a high from poppers took away from the pleasure I should have felt with my sex partner. It also put me on the verge of lessening my ability to accurately grade my sex partner's performance. So I never experimented using poppers while having any kind of intercourse again.

So after this experiment, has my position on poppers changed? Somewhat. Because now, I more so support the use of poppers for solo use. Meanwhile, with intercourse, I still stand behind my sentiment that your sex partner(s) should be your primary and/or sole high. And in regards to anal sex, when you bottom, your top is supposed to display patience and knowledge of your body and human anatomy in general to make himself your substance-free anal motivator & anal relaxer.

Plus, the repeated pauses to take a huff of poppers interrupts the flow and rhythm of sex. Thereby leaving participants unfulfilled. Often without them even knowing it. So this point is not just for those who use poppers during gay sex. It is for those who use them during any orientation of intercourse. And let us also keep in mind that anal sex is not for everyone.

I would like to say that the new information I found through experimentation and an article from Popper-Aromas.eu made me do a complete turnaround on the issue of poppers. However, such is not the case.

It is because people have repeatedly shown themselves to be followers of using things that can serve a good purpose, but someone comes up with a counterproductive purpose, then people join the bandwagon and make that the main use instead. Poppers are one of those things. So while there are sometimes health benefits with using poppers, you can't trust the sight of poppers when you know an overwhelming majority are using them simply to get high because they have allowed intercourse alone to not enough of a high for them.

With all that said, am I as against poppers as much as I was before? No. I might even partake of them myself in the same frequency I partake of marijuana, which is not much at all. However, I will still keep the previous articles I've written about poppers up because I would prefer to inspire people to not use them. For we are headed towards a society dependent on foreign substances, instead of the natural ones between the bodies in order to get through a sexual encounter. And that needs to stop.

Fansite Models, Lessen Your Narcissism...PRIORITIZE

There have been many guys that I've hooked up with at sex parties and backrooms with whom the sex was so epic that when I discovered they had an OnlyFans, JustForFans, or the like that I was ready to share our sexual chemistry with the world. Not out of a desperation for validation. Just simply to celebrate our exhibitionist spirits. However, no such video has transpired since the advent of such fansites. Because when I get a look from the clips on their Twitter or try a discounted subscription, I often end up disappointed.

For what I wind up seeing is the guy I was in such lust with displaying a desperation for validation by looking into the camera. Once I see that, I scrap any plans to suggest an on-camera hook-up. If we ever fuck again, it is simply by the same chance encounters we initially met. Sex parties and bar backrooms.

If your hole is pleasing a guy's cock, or if your 6", 7", 8" or more inches of dick is in one's mouth, ass, or pussy, that person has no business looking into the eye of one of a smartphone's cameras to get the approval of some socially inept voyeurs. Making sure to get the right angle so some unseen voyeur shows approval via a subscription the following month. For besides it being disrespectful to their sex partner(s), it also doesn't speak well of how much respect you have for yourself.

Countering this rabid narcissism is why I wrote "PRIORITIZE". And I know from what I speak. Because to those who might recall my homemade videos featuring a playmate (when XTube was functioning), NONE of those videos showed me looking into the camera. Me and my playmate turned on the camera, and did whatever position in whatever angle suited us. Never looking at the camera. For the sex we were having was just like a post from my shadow-banned Instagram that says - "...Me and my playmate(s) got in the mood to fuck, and you just happened to be there." The camera was just a prop in the back of our minds It was not the target audience.

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Proof of this is in one such video I saved and uploaded to my OnlyFans. 

In any case, we need to get back to those days.

Why Am Not A Slut, But a S.L.U.T.?

I have always had a love/hate relationship with the word "slut". A former bartender at the NYC gay bar, The Cock used to call me "Slut-asaurus Rex". Most of me loved it. Another part of me hated it.

While the word-perv that I am loves what the word "slut" is about, I think the part of it riddled with disdain is from the many self-destructive behaviors displayed in porn from all genders and that I have seen in sexually permissive spaces with my own eyes from gay males who can be defined by the word.

Such as how sluts choose quantity over quality. Meanwhile, while I love having my body entertain and be entertained by the beauty of the male form, and there are so many beautiful men to entertain, I put quality first. Quality by way of a spiritual connection through the eyes, and not just sight of the body, or in the case of many gay sluts I have seen, feel of any body. Hence why I can go to a sex party for 3+ hours and have one great 5-minute fuck to call the night great. Meanwhile, to those who are the more common definition of "slut", one fuck (no matter how good the sex was) is a lousy night.

This is why in the poem I said the lines:

So I call myself that standing for something 

That something is not the word you know 

For those who define as the word 

In some ways, live by a different code

For that reason, I wanted to come up with a definition for "slut" that more so suited me. Then it came to me. Instead of trying to use the word, why don't I make the letters that spell the word mean something. Much like Folsom Street East did a few years ago when they started calling the event S.L.U.T.S., an acronym for Sex, Love, Unity, Trust, and Safety.

Now, I have come up with my own acronym. With that said, I'm all about sharing it and maybe even starting a movement with it. For I know a number of people whose sexuality is much like mine. They have the lust to have sex with every adult human of their preferred gender with a pulse, but won't because they crave a connection besides just a pretty face, even in that fleeting moment.

So which are you? Are you a slut? Or are you a S.L.U.T.?